Top 10 Interpersonal List Of Skills

An interpersonal list of skills is highly subjective. Breaking down the interpersonal process uncovers distinct skills needed to effectively communicate and develop successful interpersonal relationships. We may not use them consistently, but here is my top 10 list of interpersonal skills needed to create value from your interpersonal experiences.

1. Look:

People give us a wealth of information as we engage in an interpersonal encounter. Looking for all the information requires skill. Eyes, hair, facial expressions, dress, and body language give us important information about an individual. Developing the skills to consistently look for this information is valuable as you enter the communication process .

2. Listen:

It seems simple, but few of us do it well. Listening skills provide critical information. Hearing an individual's message completely is critical. Missing one small piece may change your perception of the message completely. As we listen to the message, we are offered even more information about an individual. Voice inflections, tone, and volume provide additional information required for effective interpersonal communication .

3. Ask:

Asking open ended questions must be on this list of skills. Utilizing every opportunity to extract even more information about an individual helps you identify potential value quickly. The more efficient you become at extracting information, the less time it takes you to effectively communicate and identify potential value in a relationship. Utilizing this skill creates efficiency in your interpersonal experiences.

4. Learn:

Developing the first three skills creates the need for another. Effectively looking, listening, and asking will generate a large amount of information in a short period of time. Processing the information quickly and learning efficiently from it is not easy. Learning skills allow you to use all of the information available to you.

5. Understand:

Once the information gathered is processed and learned. That information must be applied to the individual you are engaged with. Generating a complete understanding of the individual will create a more efficient interpersonal process. Understanding the individual's mood, emotional state, feelings, and demeanor will allow you to present your message effectively to the individual's current state. Think of it as using the list of skills above to create a "snap shot" if the individual during your interpersonal experience.

6. Acknowledge:

Understanding the individual is critical to acknowledge their needs. Acknowledging a person's needs are an important part of the interpersonal communication process. It is also necessary to develop successful interpersonal relationships. We all have needs; using your skills to acknowledge other's needs make you more effective in your interpersonal experiences.

7. Identify:

Identifying value is critical to your interpersonal experiences. Once the information is gathered, processed, and needs acknowledged, you can begin to see where you can provide value. You can also now see if there is opportunity for the individual to bring value to you. Using your skills to identify value allows you to maneuver through the communication process effectively as you know what is valuable to you and to the individual engaged with. It also enables you to see the potential opportunity in relationships.

8. Commit:

Commitment is an important interpersonal skill. Utilizing your interpersonal skills requires time and effort. Only by making a commitment to effective interpersonal communication will you achieve results. An individual may have many relationships. Only by committing to develop your interpersonal relations will you receive the value you have identified. Commitment is value to all of us. When you give it, you will receive value from your interpersonal experiences.

9. Contribute:

To receive value, you must contribute. Successful relationships are mutually beneficial. Identifying potential value allows you to spend your time and efforts in the relationships you feel will bring the most value. Only by contributing value to your relationships will you see long term success. Relationships quickly dissipate if only one party is contributing. The communication process will quickly break down if all individuals are not actively contributing to the process.

10. Follow Up:

Seems simple, but this is hard to find. The ability to actually do what you say you are going to do a valuable skill. If you say it, do it! It seems so simple, but it is extremely hard to find these days. Something so simple that builds so much trust in a relationship. Following up adds value to the communication process. If an individual trusts you, they will listen to you as they know you will do what you are communicating.

Look at your own interpersonal experiences. Look at this interpersonal list of skills. Analyze your communication breakdowns, types of interpersonal conflict , and types of interpersonal relationships you feel are not valuable. If you do, I'll bet something on this list is missing. Use it to be conscious of your interpersonal skills and create value! Understanding your interpersonal skills will help you everywhere in your life from frienships to a securing a job. Use this list for phone interview tips as you tackle the difficult questions in the interview process.


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